Michele Spencer, Lay Associate

I was raised in a large Catholic family, the fourth of 11 children. My father encouraged vocations and said often that he hoped we would all become priests and religious.  I attended a Catholic elementary school where the nuns also encouraged religious vocations. I have very fond memories of the many hours I spent embroidering altar cloths with them. When I was 10 my mother became very ill.  I began to be expected to do many of the household tasks in her absence. Little did I know what God was preparing me for by all these events.

At the age of 16, I became very sure that I was called to marriage as a vocation.  I remember approaching my father to tell him that I was not going to be the religious sister he so dearly wanted.  I was so worried that he would be disappointed but he took it well and encouraged me to be what God was calling me to be.

My father died when I was 19.  I met my husband, Tom, in a college class four months after my father’s death.  We hit it off immediately and were married within a year.  We both came from large families and were open to children but were poorly prepared for the challenges of married life.  We had many years of struggles largely due to our own immaturity and lack of understanding of God’s meaning and purpose for marriage.

In 1991, we decided to move from San Diego, to start a new life, away from all the negative influences and past life we had lived.  Through a series of unusual events, we ended up in the foothills of the Central Valley.  We found St. Joachim Church and her mission chapel, St. Anne’s through family members and God’s providence. When we attended Mass there, I was reminded of the church I had attended as a child.  As time went on I began to feel that I had come home. The priests were always consistent in their preaching, upholding the teachings of the Church, encouraging vocations and always reverent during the Liturgy. They became our spiritual fathers.

When we were expecting our 11th and last child, our pastor, Fr. Larry, invited us to make a Life Giving Love weekend. That weekend changed our lives.  We had come to accept children as a gift of God but we never knew he had a plan for us and for our marriage.  Since that time we have become a part of the team that leads Life Giving Love weekends and we are amazed at what God has done and continues to do in our marriage through this ministry.

We had been attracted to the spirituality of the Oblates of St. Joseph for some time, but didn’t really know how to incorporate it into our lives. We knew about their Lay Associate program but with family responsibilities, I was afraid that I might not be able to fulfill the commitments. Tom and I finally broached the subject with Fr. Larry.   He encouraged us to apply and we were accepted.  After a year and a half of formation we made our promises for one year.  I was deeply moved when we made our promises, reading them over many times in the following days overwhelmed by all that God has done for me, for us.

I have, at times in my life, thought that there was a limit to God’s generosity, but through our association with the Oblates, I have seen that God’s generosity is boundless and that he still has much more in store for me. Through the Oblates, God has showered us with many graces: a deeper relationship Him, healing and strengthening our marriage, spiritual fathers, and even the answer to my own father’s prayers for religious vocations in the family. The Oblates of St. Joseph and the spirituality of St. Joseph Marello have truly become our family and our home.